ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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