This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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