Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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