Do you still have your period?
wakey wakey hands off snakey
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
