gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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