why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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