i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
