I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
