Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
