You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
