umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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