I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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