Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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