I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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