p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Sober January is a disaster.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
