I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
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Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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