Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
