She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
