That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
