the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
