she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
