So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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