Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
