If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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