i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
