Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
