u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
