FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
