I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
