I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
