I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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