You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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