It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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