We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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