it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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