We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
