2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
