Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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