I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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