Why are handjobs necessary in class?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
