Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
