The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize