you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
