so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
