apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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