this just has baby written all over it
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
