it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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