i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Two words: blizzard sex
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
