Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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