I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
