i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
