omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
