I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
