coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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