so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
