It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
