I want to have your abortion
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
